Kindergarten gambling

At last, gambling has come to kindergarten! Seriously. Kindergarten students are going to have to play the lottery if they want a seat at a Virginia elementary school.

From The Signal:

Some parents say they’re outraged by plans to use a lottery to determine which kindergarten students are allowed to attend overcrowded Stevenson Ranch Elementary School.

Marc Winger, superintendent of the Newhall School District, told an overflow crowd at a recent board meeting that a lottery was the best option after officials calculated there were too many kindergarten registration applications at Stevenson Ranch Elementary School for the 2005-06 school year.

“We’ve been dealing with the overcrowding at Stevenson Ranch Elementary School for seven years and have made some huge strides forward,” Winger said. “The neighborhood produces more students than the average in the district and more than the school can hold.”
Winger said he knows the lottery concept is not popular, but he believes it is fair. Realigning boundaries, for example, would displace many students who have been attending Stevenson Ranch Elementary for years.

Winger has also recommended that any incoming kindergarten student with a sibling already enrolled at Stevenson Ranch Elementary would be exempt from the lottery.

Stevenson Ranch resident Aparna Waegner’s son is ready to attend kindergarten this fall. As a new student, her son will be placed in the lottery under Wingeri’s proposal. While she understands the situation at Stevenson Ranch Elementary, she is upset that the district just recently informed the parents.

“I’m pretty frustrated,” Waegner said. “My objection to the lottery is that Gabe will probably be the only kid on the street in another school. Socially, thatï’s not good.”

A board meeting will be held at the school Tuesday at 7 p.m. to discuss the kindergarten options. The campus is at 25820 N. Carroll Lane.

Gambling for School Seatsl

As I’ve said before, the lottery is a Biblically-sanctioned way of dividing limited resources without favoritism. In other words, doing things by lottery eliminates “human meddling” from important decision making and leaves it to chance.

If you didn’t see Dr. Strangelove, this quote explains my hopefully ironic use of “human meddling:”

“Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy the FEAR to attack! Since this device rules out human meddling, the Doomsday Machine is terrifying and simple to understand and completely credible and convincing.”

Of course, you’ve got to imagine Peter Sellers reading that last sentence in character to really get the joke. Well, just like the builders of the Doomsday Machine, I started this entry with the best of intentions.