Too funny

Just like the Clinton Administration galvanized and nurtured conservative talk radio during the 1990s, the Tropicana Atlantic City is going to keep me posting. If I still lived in Atlantic City, I’d walk down there every day and probably come back with classic 1000-word posts. Take, for example, this entertainment listing that I found in the vaunted AC Press:

WHAT ISIT: MANTASM is a new male revue at the Tropicana, presented by creator Dave Pena and producer Shari Pearl. The show promises to feature some of the hottest male dancers strutting their stuff to the pulsating music.

WHAT TO EXPECT: For those who missed Tropicanas long-running “Men of the Cave” male revue last year, or who need another dose of scantily-clad, gyrating beefcake, MANTASM is just what the doctor ordered. What better way is there to spend a Saturday night than sitting alongside shrieking women marveling at a bunch of six-pack abs and ridiculously toned biceps? What makes MANTASM unique is its interactive nature.

Casino Scene

I’m not saying that ladies shrieking at oiled abs, pecs, and biceps is bad. I’m not even saying it’s a bad idea–if guys are allowed to ogle objectified women, I say it’s only just to allow women a parallel diversion. And a female-directed male revue? We’re moving into Margaret Fuller/Susan B. Anthony territory here.

But the name…for the love of all that is holy, why? MANTASM. The soul of class and refinement, no?

With the CAPS LOCK thing, I’m thinking that maybe this should be a feature attraction at MEGACENTER.

Even better, the show it replaces was called “Men of the Cave.” I’m picturing the GEICO cavemen doing lap dances. It’s funny, but only if you don’t think too much about the specifics. Shaggy back hair! NOOOOO!

You know, the best GEICO caveman commercial was (I think) the first one, where they’re in the studio and the talking head says the famous line, then the sound guy, who just happens to be a cave man, throws down his gear and says, “NOT COOL” before storming out. I don’t know why–it just seems like it would actually go down that way. The one at the therapist’s where he says, “It’s my mother. I’ll ut it on speaker,” is a close second, just because of that line.

Casino carpet in the LVRJ

What can I say? Seriously thinking about casino carpet has gone mainstream. From the LVRJ:

We walk all over it, cover most of our floors with it, and, when we see it for the first time, proclaim it either grand or gaudy.

But have you ever seriously contemplated carpet? Other than its functionality — and providing a platform for generating static electricity in the winter — what purpose does it serve, especially in casinos?

Thats a question David Schwartz has asked about casino carpet. As the director of the Gaming Studies Research Center at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, Schwartzs job is to contemplate all things casino. Carpet so fascinates Schwartz that he devotes an entire gallery on his blog, the dieiscast.com, to casino carpet. There, he writes: “Casino carpet is known as an exercise in deliberate bad taste that somehow encourages people to gamble.”

That may be true, but how? Schwartz says he doesn’t know, but there are almost as many theories as there are carpet designs. One thing he has noticed, is that, while it differs from property to property, casino carpet has a common element: It tends to be festive. Or busy, depending on your point of view.

ReviewJournal.com – Living – NAME THAT CARPET: WATCH WHERE YOU STEP

When I first created the casino carpet gallery, I didn’t know that it would be such a sensation. People really seem to like it–far more, apparently, than buying well-written books about gambling history. But I can’t get a deal to write a coffee table book about casino carpet. Judging from the hits and emails I get, it would sell at least moderately well. Any acquisitions editors out there interested?

If you are new to the site, start your amazing carpet journey here.

I’m teaching this summer

And it’s a creative writing seminar, right here at UNLV. And the first thing I’ll say is that it’s OK to start a paragraph with “and.” And then I’ll say that if you start 3 sentences in a row with the same word, your reader will begin to get annoyed.

The class is called “Crafting Creative Non-Fiction.” It’s an Honors College class, HON 400, section 1, in Summer Session 2, which runs from June 9 to July 11. I know that some people are down on “creative non-fiction” as the name of a genre, but it seems to convey the pith of the concept: you’re using literary techniques to write true stories more effectively.

If you want to learn more, check out the syllabus. Even if you don’t want to take the class (I know that 99% of the people who read this aren’t eligible, since they’re not UNLV students), you can learn a little. For example, each of the things that I warn students not to do is in there because I have had students do them in class and express shock, anger, and regret when I ask them to stop.

Having a snappy epigram can invest a middling writer with insight far beyond his own talent, so I begin the syllabus with this one:

“Writers write to influence their readers, their preachers, their auditors, but always, at bottom, to be more themselves.”- H. L. Menken

I hope I can get a few students to sign up. It should be fun.

UPDATE: I wrote but didn’t post this a few days ago, and I’ve had a bit of turmoil–albeit fun turmoil–in my life lately. Some of you know exactly what I mean. Let’s just say I’ve got a lot more than a new class to fret over. I’ll be posting only sporadically for a while, and, if you are trying to get me at work, I’m going to be on leave for the next few months, so emailing me is your best option.

Betting against earthquakes in Vegas

According to a new report, a big earthquake is just as likely to hit Las Vegas in the next 50 years as you are to seven out at craps. From KLAS:

UNLV and UNR scientists estimate a magnitude 6.6 quake would cause $18 billion in damage to buildings. It would kill 900 people. About 300,000 buildings in Las Vegas would suffer major damage and up to 11,000 people would need public shelter.

Clark County director of development services, Ron Lynn, says this is valuable information especially because of the mega casinos and hi-rises.

“What we are looking at in earthquakes is the survivability of the people inside. The buildings are going to be damaged,” said Lynn.

There are many active faults in the Las Vegas valley. Still, the new report found there is only a 10 to 20-percent chance of a magnitude 6 or greater earthquake here in the next 50 years. Lynn says we must take the report seriously and not gamble with the future.

“After all we are a gaming community. We know that the odds reestablish themselves each and every roll of the dice, if you will. They establish themselves each and every year. So it could be next year. It could be the year after. It could be 50 or 100 years,” said Lynn.

Las Vegas Now | Shocking New Data on Earthquakes in Southern Nevada Released

Since you’ve got a 1-in-6 (16.67%)chance of rolling a seven at any given time (with two dice), I figured that was close enough to 10-20% to make a point (pun intended).

Avoiding trouble

Looking for something completely different, I found this gem, courtesy of MSNBC:

Near-misses often turn into hits, especially in a place where trouble is likely to find you. For example, you shouldn’t be surprised when you travel to a third-world country with an atrocious air safety record, and your plane overshoots the runway, bursting into flames.

Close call! 5 tips for avoiding a near-miss – Christopher Elliott- msnbc.com

I can’t speak from experience, but I honestly feel that “surprise” probably won’t be predominant emotion you experience as your aircraft is engulfed in flames.

It would have been funny, though, if someone from Lost had said, as they scrambled out of the wreckage of Oceanic 815, “Boy, I sure didn’t see THAT coming!”

If you don’t bother to click through to read the rest of the article, know this: there is a Vegas connection. If you want to be safe(r), stay on a lower floor.

Something different

I thought this was an odd headline, but when I clicked over, I found that it wasn’t at all about what I thought it was:

State says ‘wait’ on solar system rentals – Las Vegas Sun

The article makes more sense than my original impression, but is a lot less exciting.

Book Review: Winner Takes All

Christina Binkley. Winner Takes All: Steve Wynn, Kirk Kerkorian, Gary Loveman, and the Race to Own Las Vegas. New York: Hyperion, 2008. 304 pages, hardcover.

Over the last decade, the Las Vegas Strip has become increasingly consolidated. Once, there were a host of casino owners: Aztar, Bally Gaming, Boyd Gaming, Circus Circus Enterprises, Grand Casinos (if you count Grand’s stake in the Strat) Hilton Hotels, Mirage Resorts, MGM Grand, Inc, Primadonna, the folks who owned the Frontier, Riviera, Sahara, Imperial Palace, and a few other “non-aligned” casinos. Today, the list is smaller: MGM Mirage, Harrah’s Entertainment, Wynn Resorts, and Las Vegas Sands, Inc. dominate the market, though a number of “non-aligned” casinos remain, and Boyd is set to return to the Strip soon with the mega-development Echelon Place.

In Winner Takes All, Binkley examines a few of the major players in the Strip consolidation sweepstakes. She parlays her access (she’s the former lead Vegas reporter for the Wall Street Journal) into a truly insightful book. Unless you’ve spent the past few years sitting in the executive offices of MGM Mirage, Wynn, and Harrah’s, you’ll definitely learn something from reading this. Binkley does a solid job of pulling back the curtain on the motivations and rivalries that unite and divide the movers and shakers on the Strip.

Binkley goes beyond petty corporate politics, though, and discusses the underlying business strategies that differentiate Wynn, Kerkorian (and his executives), and Loveman. Wynn believes in luxury above all; Kerkorian thinks that size matters (he’s opened the world’s biggest casino hotel three times) and is a consummate deal-maker’ and Loveman brings scientific management to the wild west of the casino floor. If you are an aspiring entrepreneur, you might learn a few lessons from each of these three approaches. If you’re just a person who likes to come to Vegas, you’ll get an insider’s peek into some of your favorite resorts.

As a historian, I’ve got to grouse at a few historical inaccuracies. The most egregious is on page 16, where Binkley contends that the original MGM Grand had “shoddily built rooms” and that the tragic 1980 conflagration was the result of a “grease fire,” making it sound like this was a roadside greasy spoon that went up in smoke after the deep-fryer was left unattended. Actually, it was an electrical fire that sparked the blaze, and though construction faults did exacerbate the fire (smoke was able to get into the guest tower, and sprinklers were not installed in the deli or casino), the casino was, when it opened, the biggest and most expensive building in the history of Las Vegas. Though we now know that its builders cut corners, at the time few disputed that it was a “grand” casino. There are a few other minor issues I have, but I won’t go into them here. Suffice it to say that Binkley is an outstanding source for the material that she personally reported on, but might have relied on lesser sources for some of the background.

Although (or maybe because) the book is about Las Vegas, 1999-2007, it is dominated by Steve Wynn. Even when he’s not there, he’s there, haunting the thoughts of the author and the principals. In simple terms, MGM Grand, Inc. wants to be like Wynn, so the company buys Mirage Resorts. Harrah’s realizes it can’t compete with Wynn, so it relies on “propeller heads” (management wonks) rather than exploding volcanoes to better its bottom line. Las Vegas, it seems, is divided into wanna-be Wynns and anti-Wynns, but there is no one who is unaffected by Wynn.

This is, of course, unfair to the men and women who’ve built up Harrah’s, MGM, and even Wynn, to say nothing of the crowd at Las Vegas Sands. There are a host of principals in this book who deserve to stand on their own: Terry Lanni, Jim Murren, Bobby Baldwin, and Glenn Schaeffer are not “title characters,” but each has contributed significantly to the creation of modern Vegas, so it’s not entirely accurate to dismiss them as Wynn clones or antitheses. But Wynn’s all-pervading presence in the book is unavoidable.

Which leads to the big question: how is Wynn treated? Like the people she writes about, Binkley is hardly agnostic when it comes to Wynn. I’m not giving much away here: the prologue features Wynn, apoplectic with rage, screaming at Binkley that the MGM Grand buyout of Mirage was a friendly deal. So it’s obvious that Binkley isn’t going to be disinterested. But she veers into caricature at times (“His capped teeth gleam white, white, white.”), which paradoxically makes Wynn even more of a larger-than-life character. Wynn-haters will glory in the chronicles of corporate extravagance; Wynn-lovers will say, “So he likes plastic surgery–he still knows how to build the best casinos in the world.”

Winner Takes All is a valuable look inside the boardrooms of Las Vegas during one of its most explosive eras. I recommend it to those interested in a behind-the-scenes look at the titans who have rebuilt the Las Vegas Strip.

Luxor getting darker?

The Tropicana’s woes might be the Luxor’s gain. The pyramid on the Strip is picking up two exhibits that as Columbia Sussex’s flagship is taking on water (allegedly). From the LVRJ:

Luxor is picking up two nongaming attractions from the Tropicana.

Atlanta-based Premier Exhibitions announced Tuesday it signed a 10-year agreement with the Luxor to covert 50,000 square feet of the resort’s atrium level into exhibition space for “Bodies … The Exhibition” and “Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition.” Both shows are now on display at the Tropicana. No dates were announced as to when the shows would be relocated.

Since last year, MGM Mirage, which owns Luxor, has been renovating the pyramid-themed resort named for the historic Egyptian city, adding several restaurants and nightclubs. Luxor President Felix Rappaport said last year the atrium level would also be remodeled.

ReviewJournal.com – Business – Two nongaming attractions now at Tropicana will be displayed at Luxor

My biggest misgiving about the Luxor (besides my “we were slaves in Pharaoh’s Egypt” heritage) has always been the funereal aspect of the place. Themed casinos are supposed to be about fun, something that Jay Sarno absolutely nailed: ancient Rome (in the popular imagination at least) is decadent and fun. A circus is fun. An Egyptian king’s tomb…not exactly my idea of good times.

When I go into the Luxor, I often think of Rorshach in The Watchmen talking about his reaction to Ozymandias’s Egyptian-themed headquarters–he’s overpowered by his morbid surroundings, by the Egyptians’ death obsession. From chapter 10:

Recognize dog-headed Anubis bust. Anubis, watched over dead. Whole culture death-fixated, obsessively securing their tombs against intruders…
Ancient pharaohs looked forward to the end of the world: believed cadavers would rise, reclaim hearts from golden jars…Understand now why always mistrusted fascination with relics and dead kings…in final analysis, it’s us or them.

But people come to Las Vegas to concentrate on life, on the here and now. That might be one of the reasons for the success of the Mirage, way back in 1989. A volcano is dynamic. A rainforest is always changing. It’s a celebration of life continuing. I think that, on some psychological level, many visitors identify with that. A pyramid, on the other hand, is unchanging, and a reminder of our own mortality.

It seems like the latest round of renovations and additions have been designed to make the pyramid more fun, more carefree. So adding two exhibits focusing on death and tragedy seems to be a step in the wrong direction.

I’m sure that there are great business reasons for bringing them in…it will get bodies in the door (pun, unfortunately, intended). But could this be a missed opportunity? If they are really trying to take the Luxor away from its museum-with-slots roots, are these exhibits really the answer?

Poker protest

Part of Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick’s proposed casino bill makes betting online a crime. Some thing that’s hypocritical, others that it’s just a blatant attempt to stifle potential competition. In any event, now that we’ve got some Harvard Law students on the case, it’s getting interesting. From the Boston Herald:

A card-playing Harvard Law professor and his poker-crazy students will stage a protest today outside the State House rallying against Gov. Deval Patrick’s casino plan.

But while most opponents, ranging from church leaders to social activists, will be warning of the perils of expanded gambling, the Harvard group will be arguing there is not nearly enough.

In particular, the newly formed Global Poker Strategic Thinking Society is targeting a provision in the governor’s bill that Massachusetts residents caught gambling online would face up to two years in jail and a fine of as much as $25,000.

Harvard Law School professor Charles Nesson, an avid player who formed the Harvard poker society, plans to testify today at a State House hearing on Patrick’s casino bill. The Harvard group contends that as many as 400,000 Massachusetts residents play poker online.

Poker’s hot at Harvard – BostonHerald.com

I’m the first to say that UIGEA and the proposed bill are unjust, but they are pretty low on my scale of current global injustices. Suffice it to say that the plight of online poker players doesn’t keep me up at nights. On the other hand, reversing UIGEA is something that a small group of interested parties could actually accomplish, whereas there are no quick fixes to the big problems facing the world today. So maybe it’s a good thing for people to devote some energy to.

I don’t think I’m being sarcastic here, but I’m not completely sure.

Tom Breitling at UNLV

The International Gaming Institute and Center for Gaming Research are co-sponsoring yet another author event at UNLV. This one will be held at the Stan Fulton Building, and stars Tom Breitling, the former co-owner of the Golden Nugget. For more info, check here:

News – Tom Breitling – Double or Nothing

I’m looking forward to the signing, and I should be posting a review of the book soon.